>Oh how trivial and fleeting life is…everyday we pursue “it”…life and what we think it should be…a thought shaped by what the world has told us for years. And here I am, 22, out of college, jobless, searching, just wanting to disappear or experience a more exciting, more fulfilling life, but held back by the fear of life, decisions, gowing up, or screwing up…and there it is again, the fear of messing up minus the cropped out part of the picture showing the ridiculousness of it and how far away from God it is…admittedly, closeness to Him does not provide the comfort the world calls for but it provides a better, eternal comfort
>I confess that I don’t bask and bathe in this comfort enough, I don’t take advantage of the comfort that the freedom Christ brought and proclaimed, a freedom not to worry because He provides for the birds and trees so how much more will He provide for us! A freedom to not carry the weight of the question “what if I make the wrong decision?”…because He has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us! A freedom to know that He who has began a good work in us will complete it… And a freedom knowing that when we admit and embrace our weakness, He is strong! and His power is made perfect!
>I want to let go…to close my eyes and truly truly wholly trust in Jesus…not the cool churchy obligation cuz that’s what a good Christian does and if he says otherwise everyone around will gasp, stare, and point kind of trust… but the trust like ALL I HAVE, ALL I OWN, ALL I AM and HOLD TO BE TRUE, SAFE, and SECURE, ALL OF MY LIFE lies in open hands as I kneel at the foot of the cross saying, “YOU are sooooo GOOD and BEAUTIFUL Jesus that it’s not that I’m actually even the slightest bit good enough to I want to, but actually I don’t know what else to do, but to give this back to you… because the only thing I trust is YOU
>This is how I want to trust, how I want to believe, how I want to live and laugh and love, that ALL I AM is Him
I love Him without knowing how or when or from where…
I love Him cause I know no other way but this.